I’ve been holding back on publishing this piece for a while. but what the hell, here goes. its about my experiences with barebacking i.e. unsafe sex
this piece is about barebacking - fucking without a condom
However I want to be very clear from the start that I am NOT advocating sex without a condom.
i do want to talk about it though
i really appreciate the honesty and thoughtful of this post - like all of these folks’ work, it’s very worth reading
also, i don’t have time to write on them now, but i do want to talk more in the future about:
- how, in a lot of gay male safer-sex discussions and resources, the overwhelming focus on HIV can actually make it a lot harder / sometimes borderline impossible to find information about other sexual health concerns, in addition to making it difficult to talk openly about barebacking and the choices one can make around that
- how there can be super intense differences in norms around the ways that safe / safer sex gets talked about and done in trans-specific queer/gay male spaces versus less explicitly trans-inclusive queer/gay male spaces - in the later, safe(r) sex generally just means using a condom for anal (and front-hole sex if dudes with such anatomy are considered at all), where as safe(r) sex in a whole lot of queer-trans spaces means a whole lot more (i.e. almost total fluid non-exchange, barriers for everything all the time, etc) - i’d really like to have space to talk about / through those differences …
something i can’t quite put to words
i’m reading a bunch of articles for orientation and general article-writing purposes, and they run the gamut from “feminist pedagogy” to “queer pedagogy” to “feminist writing center theory” to “queer composition.”
most of them suck and i really hate that, because i want there to be great stuff out there that really works and really gets at how composition/writing center work/pedagogy can be less shitty.
but it’s mostly things like this (from “cluelessness and the queer classroom,” by donald hall):
…the problem is not that students cannot argue; it is that they argue with an often rigid and even sanctimonious basis in traditional notions and wholly uninterrogated belief systems [like thinking gay people are going to hell].
and i don’t know what to do with that. i agree that homophobia is damaging and limited, and that it is logically difficult to support; when it comes up in student writing, it’s often accompanied by the unsuccessful rhetoric of students who haven’t learned the academic writing game yet.
but i really resent this idea that students who are homophobic are stupid, or bad thinkers, or just haven’t had enough queer theory yet to realize they’re wrong. not because homophobia is right, obviously—but because i think this gets deployed in an equally shitty power-y way by (oftentimes white, cis male, and middle-class) professors against a lot of groups that are already marginalized.
also, coding homophobia as “sanctimonious,” “traditional,” and “wholly uninterrogated” doesn’t leave room for the conservative and incredibly intelligent students who i sometimes tutor who are NOT sanctimonious about their homophobia, who can rhetorically support homophobic arguments or choose not to support queer arguments, and who are frighteningly untraditional and very subtle in supporting oppression.
i can’t think of much else to say besides this: composition and rhetoric isn’t a value-free system where “progressives” are always right and people who are homophobic/oppressive are just stupid and unenlightened.
like a new desire
found that on some of these blogs, particularly on youngcubs, there is like at least a 5x greater number of boys & men of color compared to any general fuckyeah[trans & (gender)queer people]-type image community i know of on tumblr
i mean, i can go on almost any given archive page and see at least a couple of poc, with some pages being mostly people i read as non-white
and - obviously, but still - all of the beary blogs have a way higher number of fat and chubby folks
point is - idk, i feel like in a lot of spaces that name themselves queer around here [here meaning both tumblr and atlanta] there’s this displacement of accusations of racism and sexual ‘intolerance’ onto the ‘mainstream gay community’ - which is surely valid insofar as there really is hella racism and bodyhate in a lot of gay spaces, but which also can serve to let white queer-identified people defensively reassure themselves of their anti-racism and acceptingness without actually, you know, doing much that’s anti-racist or that actively pushes boundaries in what and who gets practically privileged as notable and desirable
surely in such self-consciously queer-identified spaces i pretty rarely encounter fat people portrayed and basically never see fat male people eroticized
so, yeah: for all the queer self-congratulation i see in certain spaces, i also see in practice a whole lot more non-white and non-skinny folks in some spaces that are way more likely to name themselves as gay instead of or before being queer
(and people with other types of bodily non-normativity get mostly ignored in all these spaces, though it seems important here that it was the more-gay-than-queer-positioned international mr leather competition that chose a wheelchair-using trans man for its 2010 award)
This Weekend is Totally Gay
So I totes forgot ATL Pride is this weekend, erm, not sure if I’m gonna go, anywho, if I do I’d like to meet some of the Tumblr army there?
hey! i just called you and txted p.’s cell, but we’re going to the parade today if you want to come with. i missed y’all while we were up north!from vivid-eris
never was anyway
“Tuesday, a poster identifying himself as “Jimmy” wrote “All [gays] must die” on Joe.My.God., a blog dedicated to gay and lesbian issues — just as Republican Chambliss and other senators were debating a Democratic proposal to repeal the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. The proposal failed. The posting was traced to an Internet Protocol address matching Chambliss’ office, but it’s unclear whether it was one of his offices in Georgia or in Washington. Democrats seized on the situation. “No American should be subjected to the threats of violence from the staff of a United States senator,” Democratic Party of Georgia Chair Jane Kidd said in a statement. She criticized Chambliss’ office for not moving more quickly on identifying and disciplining whoever wrote the slur. “The comment can be traced to an extremely limited number of individuals that had access to the Senate Internet from the Georgia delegation offices,” Kidd said.”
- i am amazed by people’s brazenness
- i am also amazed at how few people know the way the internet works
- this is also proof that nothing is anonymous
- it never was anyway
- oh and homophobia sucks but we all knew that
- not surprised by any of this