straight white southern baptist men of a certain age who are trying to show me they’re ‘accepting’ of ‘difference’ are kinda sweet and really awkward
there have been more of them in my life lately
they’re tryin’, and that does mean something to me
i’m getting old enough that this past year has felt like a year, not particularly short nor long; after twenty-three of them, i’ve think finally got the rhythm about down
and there’s something really unsettling about this, about a year finally being a conceivable, discreet unit and progression of time and not an abstract collection of seasons and months and dates and the emotions that i associate with them
i remember being little and reading the bible story where leban tells jacob he can only marry rachael after laboring in his fields for seven years, and i thought that seven years was only a hair’s breadth away from eternity itself, what was the point?
and now i see the point, or at least part of it
(i say as i prepare to start my my final semester of undergrad tuesday morning, after five and a half years)
i’m getting old enough that i’m starting to really worry over my mother’s health
and she’s getting old enough that her health is getting to be something worrying
- three years on testosterone
- my grandmother’s funeral
shit this personal statement is long
my profs critiqued my earlier personal statements for being too short and for not having enough of ‘me’ in them; i kind of didn’t really want much ‘me’ in them because that kind of thing can be such a part of telling tired stories that repeat really particular narrative of marginalization at the expense of others, yeah?
but i think the one i’m writing right now is actually interesting and compelling and - unlike my earlier attempts at personal stating - it hasn’t so far felt violating or degrading to write
so those’re good signs, yeah?
upsides to a shoddy public transit system
apparently busycheap home-cut helmet hair is a really good look for me
i’ve never in my life gotten more compliments on my hairstyle since transartorialism started cutting it and i started biking a lot more
means fall semester
means very little time for google reader and tumblr right now
but, this semester, it also means that i have to be in at work at a 9esque time twice a week at an office that no one ever visits before about 11 and also i have no classes thursday and friday, so hopefully i’ll adjust my blog consuming and producing habits quickly
also! maybe internet at home soon
it would be nice if tumblr implimented a way to directly reblog replies you guys
lix said: artist?
with art occuring from time to time :)
the art and design tagged with ‘personal’ on this tumblr is by me, btw, sorry if that’s not been clear; i always link to a source if i didn’t make it
everything name changey went fine
my summer semester financial aid is in limbo and the dmv has been ridiculously packed - like people lined up down the front steps and on to the grass outside packed - for the past two days, so i’m waiting for that to clear up before i embark on major institutional name changes
but, yeah, the abba alarm did me well